I am sick of writing freelance RPG material. Editors! Heed well me scowling visage. You are no longer the masters of my fate. Today is the first day of:

I am capable of many things. Below is a list of my services and the current going rate. Please send e-mail to mearls@rpg.net if you would like to hire me. All prices are in US funds.

Service Offered	Fee
One (1) Kick in the Shins (Yours)	$5.00
One (1) Kick in the Shins (Others)	$6.25
Naked Cavorting and Frenetic Carrying On (One (1) Hour)	$38.00
Drunken Paranoid Rambling (Four (4) Hours)	$25.95 (includes cost of beer)
Fernando Pucci-style Boxing (One (1) Lesson)	$17.50
I, Mike Mearls, Shall Slay Monsters for Money and Goods	FREE!!!!!
Rabbit Disposal	$12.38/rabbit