Happy Birthday, Spiderman!

I still haven't seen the Spiderman movie. This one's from March of 2002.

This was originally posted on Clinton Nixon's collaborative weblog, Dogpile.

Someone was having a birthday party at my parents' house. I have no idea who the birthday boy was, and I didn't recognize any of the people there, but it was a big party.

Unfortunately, the birthday cake was laced with chemicals from Mexico that made the birthday guy go nuts. But, as luck would have it, Spiderman showed up just as the guy started chasing everyone with the knife that was supposed to be for cutting the cake, not cutting the guests.

Spider webbed the guy, and that was that. I had invited Spiderman to the party because I had heard he was in the area fighting Dr. Octopus and thought he could use a break. We discussed this at length, and he confided in me that while being a Superhero was fun, no one ever called him unless they were in trouble or a crime was in progress. He was very happy that someone had finally contacted him on a purely social basis, though he was somewhat upset that a crime had broken out at the party. Still, he was having a pretty good time.

Then, for some reason, the guests started kicking the webbed sociopath. This made Spidey very angry, as he believed not only in justice but equality. Kicking a deranged murderer was as wrong as wrong could be, so he had to web everyone else who had been at the party, too.

He left in a huff. He was very angry that what he thought was going to be a simple, enjoyable social occasion had turned into a series of violent, criminal outbursts that forced him to once again shoulder the responsibilities of a costumed vigilante.

He never webbed me, but I think he was tempted to.